The Talking Sword

The Talking Sword is a sword created by Jake which later aids Drake on his quest to find him for about one episode.

Biography
The Talking Sword was created by Jake because he "has a waifu problem". Drake encounters her on accident, but quickly realizes that she could help him find Jake and takes her with him. Together, they fight Dr. Retcon however, Dr. Retcon retconned the fight so that Drake would lose it, resulting in the Talking Sword being flung out of his hands. After Danny Devito swoops in and beats the shit out of Retcon, Drake uses his Mohawk to slice Dr. Retcon's neck, killing him. After this, Drake finds a portal to Dimension S-M but since he is a dumbass he forgets the sword and leaves without her. In the post-credits scene; The Talking Sword calls out to Drake, hoping that he didn't forget her. After going through all five stages of grief in roughly two seconds, The Talking Sword then accuses Drake of being a sexist. The Talking Sword will likely never reunite with Jake.

Later on, it is revealed that she is doing quite well for herself despite never leaving that spot. She's been chillin, has been running a successful Let's Play channel, and has even found love with a similar sentient sword, aptly named "The Talking Sword's Girlfriend."

Quotes

 * "Hello, I am The Talking Sword"
 * "Shut up, n*****."
 * "Let’s just say that I’m only female because your brother Jake has some 'Waifu problems'"
 * "I should have seen this coming... I knew he [Drake] didn't like female characters!"
 * "Thank you, the Talking Sword's Girlfriend. I love you bae."

Related Retcons

 * The Talking Sword knocked the Diamond sword out of Dr. Retcon's hands with the help of Drake in the trailer, however this was changed to Dr. Retcon knocking her out of Drake's hands in the Fourth episode.

Appearances

 * The Jake and Drake Show - Re-birth, Re-boot, Re-tcon
 * The Jake and Drake Show - The Die Room (Post-Credits scene)

Trivia

 * She is made of Tentanium, one of the strongest metals next to Green Titanium.
 * It can be assumed her age is somewhere between 4 and 7 years, which means that if Jake sees her as a waifu, he's probably on some FBI watchlist right about now.